In the last month

So, okay, this is what has happened to me in the last month:

One month ago today I went to see an orthopedist, because I have osteoarthritis in my left hip and I need a hip replacement.  He was dreadful.  He was simply dreadful.  He, among other things, told me I was never going to lose weight without gastric bypass surgery and that anything that could be done to alleviate present pain would have a negative outcome on future surgery and told me, without my ever having mentioned them, that I couldn't have narcotics.

So okay.  That was a Monday.  And then on Thursday I went and, well, tried to have a breast biopsy for some suspicious stuff except that after a half hour of mammograming, they couldn't find the spots and sent me home.  So that was good.

Then on Friday, I saw the GP, who gave me the rest of the results of my blood work, which was basically that I'm a fat, middle-aged woman.  My cholesterol is up and so is my blood sugar.  Interestingly, she gave me six weeks to see what I could do. 

I saw another orthopedist, who was much nicer (and he's the one I'll give money to, when the time comes) and who prescribed physical therapy.

So.  I forgot the handout about how to eat with diabetes, but the main thing I got was to cut out carbs.  And I told the nice doctor that I wanted three months to try to lose weight before we decided anything about surgery. 

And then I came home and I started eating differently.  I'd like to say I had some epiphany or something, but it was mainly that I didn't want to tell people I had Type 2 diabetes, because, well, I hate being cliche.  I started eating less meat, fewer carbs, and more vegetables and fruit.  And after a physical therapy session, which I purposely had at the one at the gym I belong to, I went upstairs and worked out. 

In the last month, I've lost 12 or 13 pounds. I say this imprecisely for two reasons.  One is that the scale fluctuates wildly and the other is that I fluctuate somewhat, though less since I started taking a diuretic for my blood pressure.  (Just if you're interested, that pisses me off, too). 

I have a big bowl of fruit every night, with some Greek yogurt stirred in.  Then I don't graze all night--AFTER 11. 

I eat salad every day.  I'd like to say I don't remember the last time I had a sandwich, but that's a lie, since I went out to dinner and had a French dip, but I'll say I don't rightly remember the last one I had here at home.  I do have skinny cheese, an egg and either ham or salmon, every morning on light crisp bread (what, you say, LIGHT crisp bread?  Is it even visible?) and that sort of gives me the carb fix.  I won't lie.  When my husband makes toast, I salivate--the smell of the yeast! 

So here I am.  I feel kind of piggy today, because I had spaghetti for lunch (with spinach and tomato sauce, mostly to finish the sauce, which was a second-time leftover) and then out to eat for dinner, but there was no way I could finish all those fries, I had a salad and right now I feel completely stuffed and, frankly, kind of icky. 

But this is my belief.  That everyone, really, knows how to lose weight.  The question is whether or not they do it.  How much they fool themselves into believing they can get away with.  What they try to slip in.  God knows I've done it.  And not to diss Weight Watchers, but I got way too good at the system and started not losing weight on it.  This is easier. 

Do I feel better?  Well, honestly, I probably won't really feel better till I get the new hip (and funnily, the second doctor actually examined me and said that my body configuration--not a ton of fat on the hips, basically--was not one that was terribly concerning for complications) but I will say that I do have more energy and the ability to do more things.  I went shopping this morning!  In a department store!  I couldn't have done that a month ago, in fact, a month ago, I wasn't able to do it when I tried.  So actually doing my exercises helps, with my range of motion and my strength and stamina.  Then I end up in probably worse pain than I would have been in because I'm not a sitter-arounder by nature and I do too much--but that's okay.  I did it. 

I'll be back to keep track of progress.  The interesting/noteworthy/scary thing here is that...it's not hard.  It's not actually hard.  I'm just doing it.  I more or less made the most of my natural inclinations, which is that I like real food, I'm not that much on sweets and I have fairly good ability to make good choices.  Portion control is huge, but the interesting thing about portion control is that it gets easier as you get used to less food.  So I have to say there's not a lot of suffering going on here, which may be disappointing on some level, but whatever.  I'm happy with two squares of chocolate, so that's fine. 

Right now I have two goals.  One is the end of the month, which I see the GP again.  I want my numbers to be good enough that I have evaded medication.  I think I probably will, because the time before the last bloodwork was pretty much Molly bar the door, as far as eating goes, and they STILL hadn't gotten me to where I absolutely needed meds, that second, or I would die.  So when I do get tempted, I realize I'm working toward that, and while 20 pounds is probably unrealistic, I'd like it a lot if I could manage that, so that's a deterrent when I want to indulge.  (And when I do indulge, I'm fully aware that it's indulgence and not regular life).  The other is the end of the summer, when I see the orthopedist again.  I'm not sure what I want him to say, because he was encouraging anyway--but I guess I want to have made the effort.  And you get to the future perfect (interesting name for that tense in this case) by making the effort every day in the plain present. 

So here I am. I guess I could say I'm working toward the future perfect.